The Intangible Mind Of Cat Valentine
by davidr11
Summary: Cat is a very precarious person, one minute she is insightful the next her mind is a million miles away. I just wish I could hold her hand and not have to worry about any consequences. Rated M for self harm and the likes in later chapters. WARNING Story has been abandoned and will not be finished.
1. Who Is Cat Really?

The Intangible Mind Of Cat Valentine

Quick AN: For my followers who follow more than just my Jori stories; I'm back. While I do plan to go back and finish all my unfinished stories and maybe, just maybe, do a 3rd installment of The Life Of Tori Vega/Soul Mates series I had an idea for a story that is Cori. I believe the general idea has been done with Cori a few times, and Cori is not a very popular ship, I hope everyone finds my story refreshing and enjoyable. Sorry for any typical cliches I end up using, can be hard to write a story without them. Rated M for self harm and such things in later chapters.

Just a side note – since the makers of Victorious didn't seem to care much about time lines and where everything that happened feel into place on them I won't either. Also Sam And Cat never happened.

Chapter one: Who is Cat really?

Cat Valentine is a very precarious person. You never know quite where she is in her head. Sometimes she not only seems to be following conversations well but also has amazing insight; other times she seems to be a million miles away where nothing in this world could bother her.

For example last week at lunch the group was having a conversation about the California water shortage and Cat chimed in with, "You know, maybe everyone really should have thought about what the long term affects of having so many people living so densely populated in such an arid region would be." Today unfortunately was not one of those days where we saw the true genius inside Cat's head.

"So Tori, have you decided who you're going to chose to be your partner in vocal class?" Andre asked me. Everyone always wanted me as a partner and it could get frustrating. I mean Andre is just as talented if not more so than me. "Ughhh, I don't even want to think about it right now. Sinjin has left me four notes in my locker just today asking me to be his partner!"

"Sinjin isn't even in our class though," said Andre looking slightly confused. "Tell him that since it doesn't seem to stop him from leaving me notes every time we get an assignment. I don't even understand how he finds out," I say with a sigh.

"Do you guys think butterflies dream about butter?" Asked Cat causing us all to stare at her questionably. "I mean they have to call them butterflies for a reason, maybe it's because they dream of butter."

I put my arm around her with a soft smile on my face. "I'm sure that's exactly why they call them butterflies Cat." She gives a gives a girlish giggle and seems to snuggle into my arm. I've had a crush on Ca forever now, now I know your first thought is; what, Tori Vega is a lesbian? And I have no simple answer to that. I know I like girls, and I think I like boys too. I mean I think they're cute, some of them even sexy. And I mean I've had relationships with boys before, but something just always feels off. I think it may be why my very short lived relationships have always self destructed. I go for guys I know it won't work out with so I won't have to be the one to end the relationship if I just can't get any real spark going with them.

Things are different with Cat though, and a few other girls from my past I had crushes on but never acted on from fear of rejection and maybe repulsion that I was into girls, I got butterflies around her that I never get with guys. I find myself always wanting to spend time with her making excuses to touch her, put my arm around her, or hug her. Sometimes like now I would just do it, since we're girls and it seems to be more socially acceptable than when guys do it.

We made more small talk while eating our lunches and waiting for the bell signaling time for our classes to begin again. Cat made only one or two more off the wall comments during lunch period before it was time for us to get back to our laborious studies. I kept my arm around her the whole time without her mentioning it or moving in such a way that it fell off. I was glad for little moments like this where I could almost pretend that everyone knows of my feelings and the whole school, and my friends and family, were accepting of it.

I mean being gay or lesbian or bi o anything that wasn't heterosexual is far more accepted today than it us to be, but you still read stories online about the gay high schooler who was bullied so much suicide was the only option that was seen to escape it. So I keep my feelings to myself not wanting to think about the possibility if anyone knew I may be that kid.

The rest of the day went fairly uneventful. The rest of my classes gave homework along the lines of what is normally issues, Sinjin made some very weird and creepy comments to me and just about every other girl at the school. Cat was in her head every time I saw her between classes, Jade made snide comments to me, Andre asked me several more times about if I had made up my mind yet. Beck scolded Jade for being too nasty, the world at Hollywood Arts continued as usual.

When school ended I let out a sigh of relief since today was Friday and that means we had two whole days outside of this prison. Another perk was Cat would be staying the night at my place this weekend. A least once a month we plan a "girls weekend" where Cat would stay the night and she'd make an effort to get Jade to come over too. Jade's answers are along the lines of what you would expect of course, "I'd rather drown in blood than stay the night at Vega's," "I'd smoother thirty babies in their sleep before being caught dead at Vega's house for a weekend," etc. Of course I never minded, my weekends with Cat were the best part of the month.

"So Tori," Cat said as she caught up to me at my locker. We'd be walking to my house as Trina had a "thing" after school. Which I, of course, assumed meant stalking some guy beginning him to go on a date with her. "I was wondering if tonight we could have a Disney movie marathon?" I loved doing Disney movie marathons with Cat, she was so adorable when watching movies about impossible happy ever afters and finding your one true prince. Though I wished I could be her princess.

"Of course Cat, I wouldn't dream of spending the night any other way," I responded giving her a soft but warm smile. She squealed giving me a hug before running off. "I'll meet you outside in ten, okay?" she asked while rushing to her locker. I smiled in her direction before zipping up my backpack and heading towards the front entrance. I thought about maybe trying to make a move on her this weekend, hold her hand, kiss her, something. I knew I never would though I thought about this before everyone of our girl's weekends but nothing ever came out of it. I was just allowing myself to indulge in what ifs and maybe one days.

Fast forward three hours and Cat and I are sitting on my couch watching The Lion King. Trina probably wouldn't be home until God knows when and my parents were out who knows where. It seems as Trina got older and more annoying my parents were home less and less often.

"Ohhh I can't watch this part," Cat squeals as Mufassa was about to die. I knew she would do this since she does it every time this scene came on. I decided to capitalize on the socially acceptable double standard of girls being able to be more affectionate with one another and grab her hand. She gives my hand a squeeze and tells me to tell her when it's over. When I do so I was more than shocked by what happens next.

"Tori, pause the movie I need to ask you something." I pick up the Blu Ray remote and hit pause before turning towards her.

"I've been under the idea that you kind of had a thing for me," Cat says paralyzing me. "I mean you always find reasons to hold my hand or put your arm around me, but then the next day you act like your feelings are platonic." I have no idea what to say at this point, I was feeling like a trapped dog. She had figured it out, flashes of everyone finding out and people making fun of me flash before my eyes and I start to panic.

"I mean if you do like me it's okay really and I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to. But I kind of have had a crush on you for a few months now. I mean at first I didn't but I didn't mind the idea of you liking me, but after a while I realized I liked the hand holding more than in just a friendship way," she said.

I was still in shock and trying to gather my thoughts so I could formulate a sentence. "C-c-cat I do like you, I was just afraid you didn't like me back. Not just that though, I was afraid of the idea of everyone finding out and me becoming a social outcast."

Cat gave me her signature smile. This is what I'm talking about though, how she seems to be so ditzy and a million miles away while being so perceptive at the same time. Before I leaned in to give her a peck on the lips excited about what this meant, I had to ask myself who is Cat Valentine really?


	2. All The Butterflies In The World

Chapter 2: All The Butterflies In The World

I leaned in to give Cat a peck on the lips excited about what what all this could mean, to my surprise she deepened the kiss. She seemed to want this as much as I did. "So what does all this mean?" I ask not sure what she wanted. Did she want us to just remain friends? Did she want us to date in secret. The one thing I hoped above all else is she wouldn't want it to be public, the idea haunted me.

"Well," started Cat, "You don't seem ready to have something like this known, which is okay I sware!" I waited for the 'but'. "But, I'm not sure I would want to be in a relationship that had to be kept secret. I mean I wouldn't mind us cuddling and kissing on girl's weekend, or spending extra time together, but I think until we're both a bit more ready we shouldn't make anything official. Even if the officialness had to be kept secret."

Until we're both more ready? I understood why I had to be ready but she didn't seem to mind the possible social consequences that could ensue, so what did she have to be ready about? I was about to ask when she turned back towards the TV and started the movie back up leaning into me letting out a soft sigh. I decided whatever she needed to do to ready herself wasn't of much importance right now, I could worry about that later. For now I would just enjoy her snuggling into me knowing she felt the same way for me as I did for her.

It was now ten PM and after a long day of movies and cuddling we decided it was time to try and get some sleep. Not to my surprise, or Cat's it seemed, my parents nor Trina were hope yet. To be honest I wasn't the least bit sad about that considering it meant a whole day spent just Cat and I.

After showering brushing my teeth and doing my other nightly rituals Cat and I met up in my room, Cat had gone ahead and used the downstairs bathroom to get ready for bed. "So," Cat said getting under the covers with me and taking my hand into hers. "How long exactly have you had a crush on me? I didn't put everything together until about six months ago."

She was cuddled up against me with her breath against my neck. "Well, that's a tough question to answer," I started trying to put everything into a time line in my head. "I remember the first time I met you in the hallway how beautiful I thought you were, but I didn't like you right then and there." I took a few more seconds of deep thinking before I came to a conclusion.

"I wouldn't be able to tell you when I exactly started liking you as more than a friend, I mean there was no epiphany moment or I didn't just wake up one day and know. It's like colors transitioning from red to blue and showing all the shades in between; there's no where you'd be able to point to and say 'this is exactly where red turns into blue' it just slowly happens in a transition through different shades. I only like you as a friend, who was beautiful, at first and slowly over time my feelings changed."

I hoped all that made sense considering the fact it sounded a bit confusing even to me. To my delight though Cat kissed my check making it feel like all the butterflies in the world were right now in my stomach flying around madly.

"For me," Cat started, "it didn't happen quite that way, I mean I did have an epiphany moment. After a while I took special note that you always found reasons to hug me, hold my hand, show affection period and I started to wonder if you may like me as more than a friend. Like I said before though since you were kind of hot and cold about it, one day showing affection umpteenth number of times and then for three days nothing I wasn't sure if I was right or not. At first I didn't return the feelings but had no issue if you did feel that way towards me. I started to get chills at one point when you would do it and feel an urge to cuddle into you but explained it as me being an affectionate person myself. One day though when you held my hand at that scary movie Jade made us all see at the movies it just kind of hit me. It hit me that I didn't want to just hold your hand on occasion but whenever I wanted. I wanted to be able to kiss you and cuddle with you. Since I couldn't quite figure out if you felt the same I decided not to say anything or act on it, but today I just couldn't not anymore. I had to know."

As she finished the butterflies in my stomach seemed to explode into fireworks and I put my arm around her putting my nose and mouth up against her and said, "I'm so glad you decided to ask. I never though I'd ever get a chance to be with you. I feared if I came out people would ridicule me, bully me, make my life so miserable I may just become suicidal."

Cat kissed my forehead, "I would never let that happen," she said in a sad voice that seemed to be far too deep of a sadness for this hypothetical situation.


	3. Two WeeksBehind These Hazel Eyes

AN: I've noticed my damn keyboard seems to miss letters sometimes and I don't catch it (auto correct doesn't show me a mistake if I forget the 'e' on note and it becomes not) and I don't have a beta so if you see any mistakes like that please forgive it, I corrected quite a few and updated the last chapter with the corrections.

Chapter 3: Two Weeks/Behind These Hazel Eyes

My blissful weekend with Cat was over, Saturday and Sunday went much the same as Friday; cuddling kissing hand holding and not worrying about what any of it meant in the long run. For now we had each other, even if nothing was official and no one besides us would know. Returning to school wasn't so bad though, only one week until summer. One more week and we would be seniors!

I was excited thinking about the plans Cat and I would make, long sleep overs where we could be affectionate, watching silly Disney movies during the day and maybe slipping in some horror movies so she would have to cuddle with me at night. Nothing too scary of course besides the fact Cat has the lowest threshold ever for horror movies, mine wasn't too high either. Since Beck and Jade were going to be in Miami for the majority of the summer and Andre and his grandma would be going to visit his great uncle, or something like that, we wouldn't have to worry about other people noticing anything either.

In the final week of school we only had two finals left to worry about since the week prior we had done the others. I had finally chosen Cat to be my partner for the assignment, much to the dismay of Andre, and the only other final was my dreaded math exam. I mean don't get me wrong I'm not horrible at math I'm just not great either. I would put me right in the middle of average. I use to excel at math until letters started being added in and I found out at algebra and above I no longer excelled.

Cat and I didn't see each other much besides in our shared classes and lunch period on Monday. Both our exams were tomorrow and we'd get the grade the next day along with it being posted with on our report cards. So, as to be expected, every extra second I had at school and at home I spent trying to cram in as much last minute studying as possible. I wasn't too worried about vocal class, the assignment was to find two songs to create a mash up that would blend well with both partners voices. Cat and I had chosen two great yet contrasting songs over the weekend, Two Weeks a hard rock song by All That Remains and Behind These Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson.

I decided to take the rock song and Cat would take Behind These Hazel Eyes. I wasn't sure how I would sound singing a rock part but to get the best grade possible I knew I had to choose a slightly challenging mash up and push not just myself but Cat too.

Tuesday had come around and we sat in vocals. My hands were sweating but Cat looked as calm as ever, her mind where ever it went. A place that made her untouchable and intrigued me. I just wished I could join her and escape there too, but it seemed like where ever it went it was a place only Cat could be.

"Tori and Cat, you're up next, I would say good luck considering you both only choose partners the day before the assignment but the whole class seemed to do that. So on with the show," said our teacher.

 **And you neglected I called you out  
don't please  
I said we're stronger than this now  
You resurrected mistakes  
years past it seemed  
And they exist to still haunt you **

_Seems like just yesterday  
You were a part of me  
I used to stand so tall  
I used to be so strong  
Your arms around me tight  
Everything, it felt so right  
Unbreakable like nothing could go wrong_

 **And still you feel like the loneliness  
Is better replaced by this  
I don't believe it this way  
And I can see the fear in your eyes  
I've seen it materialize  
Growing stronger each day **

_Now I can't breathe  
No, I can't sleep  
I'm barely hanging on_

 **I could see it as you turned to stone  
Still clearly I can hear you say  
Don't leave, don't give up on me  
Two weeks and you ran away  
I remember don't lie to me  
You couldn't see that it was not that way  
Swear I never gave up on you **

_Here I am  
Once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it  
Can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these hazel eyes_

 **I wanted nothing but for that trust again  
And brick by brick you would take it  
You feared of phantoms and none exist but you  
You still saw fit to destroy it  
**

 _I told you everything  
Opened up and let you in  
You made me feel alright for once in my life  
Now all that's left of me  
Is what I pretend to be  
So together but so broken up inside_

 **And still you feel like the loneliness  
Is better replaced by this  
I don't believe it this way  
And I can see the fear in your eyes  
I've seen it materialize  
Growing stronger each day **

_Here I am  
Once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it  
Can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these hazel eyes_

 **  
I could see it as you turned to stone  
Still clearly I can hear you say  
Don't leave don't give up on me  
Two weeks and you ran away  
I remember don't lie to me  
You couldn't see that it was not that way  
Swear I never gave up on you **

As we finished we interlocked arms and gave a bow with big smiles on our faces. I think I managed to do quite well on the rock bit and Cat nailed Kelly Clarkson, I swear people always praise me on me singing but forget about all the other just as talented (if not more so) other singers. Cat, Andre, Jade, I always felt kind of wrong every time I was overly praised while they stood in the background. I decided I would have to do something about that next year, make sure credit was given where it was due.

Next we had lunch period which was kind of uneventful, well besides the glances Cat and I kept giving each other which thankfully no one else seemed to notice. After lunch came the dreaded math period, thankfully besides vocals it was the only other class I had Cat in with me this term.

Mr. Newman began the hour by getting straight to the point; he gave us our assignments and gave the usual pre exam speech, no cheating, no talking, we had exactly until the bell rang, etc. When the exam began I got through the first half with no real worries, then the equations seemed to turn up ten times in difficulty. I gulped and my palms began to sweat, I swear I was about to pass out.

That's when I felt a hand take mine in it's, Cat who always sat next to me reached across to hold my hand. How she knew I was nervous I'm not sure how I'll ever know, there it is again her being so perceptive out of no where. God I wish I could live in her head just for a day just so I could figure her out.

After maybe five seconds she pulled away which was perfect timing as Mr. Newman got out of his chair to go up and down the aisles to make sure no funny business was going on, but that five seconds was all I needed. My palms had dried, I no longer felt so nervous. As a matter of fact I felt confident now.

The bell rang just as I finished my exam and the teacher told us it was time to hand them in, I must say I owe Cat so much. If it wasn't for her I would at the very least not have finished, possibly could have had a full blown panic attack.

The rest of the week went by fast, Cat and I got full marks for out duet in our vocal exam with special mentions for making such a challenging mash up work so well. On my math exam I got a 97%! I was so happy when I found out I thought I would burst from joy. I hadn't really got a chance to thank Cat yet as I didn't want to do it in a passing conversation in the halls. The whole week was still jam packed, assemblies had to be attended for awards to be given out, we had to pack in as much time with our friends who would be gone a good chunk of the summer as possible, teachers wanted to give long speeches about how proud they were of us.

Sikowitz gave a very memorable one by starting it out running into the class room and pretending he had been shot at in the parking lot. I swear I'd like to get into his head almost as much as Cat's. As the last day of school approached juniors who would be becoming seniors next year found out we didn't have to attend, a new yearly tradition Hollywood Arts was starting.

"So," I started as Cat and I hung out In my bedroom on Thursday night. "Our summer has officially started."

"It sure has," said Cat smiling her head in my lap. We were on my bed, me sitting up against the head post with her lying width wise across it her feet hanging off the side and head in my lap. "I'm sad our friends won't be here to enjoy most of it with us," she said sounding a bit sad.

"Oh don't worry, Robbie will still be here though to be honest I don't plan to spend too much time with him. Rex has been getting way too mean lately. Beck and Jade will be having a blast though, and Andre well let's just hope his grandma will tone down the crazy while they're with his great uncle," I said while letting out a small laugh.

"Yeah," said Cat dreamily seeming to recede into the special place that is only for her. Seeing the look of relaxation on her face I knew this would be my best summer ever.

AN: Firstly, before starting this chapter I decided to take this story in a different direction than I planned. To be honest I spent a good chunk of my day thinking about this. That is why summer seemed to come out of no where and the vocal class project turned out to be a final exam. It may be kind of sloppy of me so please forgive me.)

Angst and drama will happen sometime during the summer and I plan to take the story into at least part of their senior year, accompanied by probably more angst and drama, though to what degree I'm not sure yet.

The songs were as mentioned Two Weeks by All that Remains ( youtube being /watch?v=gGtW4AFyLyM) and Behind These Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson ( youtube is /watch?v=yipoOY56MbM). I personally can't see Victoria Justice pulling off Two Weeks honestly, but let's pretend she did :)


	4. The Calm Before The Storm

AN: I always hate having to beg for reviews, but they're really what encourages me to go on/update faster. Over 250 views, 4 favorites and 7 follows and only one person and one guest reviewing? (Btw thank you both) So please don't make me beg and review, whether you hate it, love it, think it's average, all compliments, criticisms, and thoughts on the story thus far are more than welcome!

Chapter 4: The Calm Before The Storm

It was night time on Thursday on our last day of being Juniors and Cat and myself were watching some Disney movie Cat had chosen. Her head was in my lap and my heart jumped every time she would laugh at a scene. This is how I wanted our whole summer to be.

"I think it's about time we hit the hay," I said as the movie finished up.

"Yeah," Cat agreed while stretching and letting out a yawn. "It doesn't matter how many times I see The Little Mermaid, I always love it just as much as the time before," she said while getting ready to head to the bathroom to start her night time rituals. I gave her a smile before grabbing my things and heading to the upstairs bathroom. Trina would be out all night at some college party she supposedly got invited to. If I had to guess though she overheard some people talking about it, one of which had to be a cute guy who found her more annoying than nails on a chalkboard, and decided to crash it. My parents had both decided to head to bed early since they both had an early day at work tomorrow.

After getting my shower water to the perfect temperature, and setting my pajamas up on the counter so they wouldn't get wet from the shower water, I got in and scrub myself clean. I did my normal routine of washing and conditioning my hair twice, before turning off the water and stepping out. After I brushed my teeth, used mouth washed and flossed, I used my moisturizing cream.

Cat and I met back up at my room at about the same time. "So I began," before I was stopped by a pair of lips crashing with mine. I backed up to my bed before falling on it with Cat on top of me. Despite the fact I was having trouble breathing there was no denying how much I loved this surprise make out session. After about a minute, hell maybe two I lost track of time, Cat separated from me and lied down next to me.

"Tori you have to promise me something," Cat said in probably the most serious voice I've ever heard from her.

"Anything," I tell her.

"No matter how summer goes we'll end it loving each other just as much ore more as we do now." I propped myself up with my elbow to get a better look at her, searching her eyes to see the seriousness that was in them. They matched the tone of her voice.

"What I can promise you Cat is no matter what happens we can try and work through it. We may not be in a relationship per say, but I can't imagine anything ever happening that would change the way I feel about you," I told her trying my best to convey my seriousness the same way she had. She gazed back in my eyes seeming to be considering the situation and everything just said. She smiled and the seriousness seemed to melt from her face before giving me a nod.

"I have to agree with you just said. I just hope by the beginning of the school year we can be official," she said before cuddling into me right after I lied down trying to get comfortable for bed. I turned towards her so our faces were so close an extra long hair on either of us would touch the other.

I gave her a quick kiss before closing my eyes and falling into a deep sleep.

 **Cat POV**

Tori just fell asleep, she looks so beautiful when sleeping. I let out a sigh before turning onto my back. I pulled up my sleeve to look at all the razor and burn scars. I wondered if she would still love me if she knew the truth, about the darker side of my life. I had almost forgotten to bring my anti depressants tonight, after heading to school I had to haul ass back home to grab them after I remembered I forgot them.

I just had to hope our feelings are as strong as Tori seems to think they are. A clap of thunder sounded in the distance, I wasn't even aware it had gotten cloudy outside. Before I fell asleep I couldn't help but think about the old saying, "The calm before the storm" and what it means.

Quick AN: Cat will very rarely have POV moments but I'll label them first. As the chapter name, and end of the chapter imply, things are about to start happening soon. This chapter was short and mainly filler setting up for the soon to come storm.


	5. And Our Scars Remind Us The Past Is Real

Chapter 5: And Our Scars Remind Us The Past Is Real

Tori woke up feeling very refreshed. Cat was cuddled into her snoring lightly, Tori couldn't help but smile at this. She wanted to just lie here forever and hold Cat in her arms. Forget about her worries of what other people may think, forget about her borderline neglectful parents, forget about any and every worry. The world doesn't work like though so she slowly got out of bed making sure to not wake Cat. Outside her window she could see it was raining pretty hard, a storm must have rolled in last night while she was sleeping.

She sighed at the gloomy gray skies and got a change of close out of her dresser, it was time to shower and brush her teeth. After scrubbing her body and brushing away her morning breath she headed to the kitchen so she could have something to eat ready for Cat. There was a note taped to the fridge.

 _Tori,_

 _Your father has to take a trip for work to Sacramento, some meeting for work. I'll be going with him and we'll be in a hotel tonight. You and Cat seemed to be sleeping well, hope your summer is off to a good start._

 _Love, Mom_

She sighed, it was no surprise her parents would be gone, again. She did love all this alone time considering Trina is almost always busy off annoying or stalking some poor guy but she really was starting to miss her parents. She shook her head to get the sad thoughts out before opening the fridge.

No more than five minutes after she started to fry some eggs and bacon she heard the shower start up and a voice singing. "And our scars remind us that the past is real, I tear my heart open just to feel." Tori wondered what scars Cat could have. What did she have to remind her that her past was real? She obviously didn't need to tear her heart open to feel, but everyone has scars. Typically the ones that only exist in your head, hidden from prying eyes, are the worse ones.

As Tori finished cooking their breakfast Cat skipped into the kitchen her usual perky self. "Ohhhhh, bacon! I love bacon, but I always feel so bad for all those poor pigs they have to kill," Cat said while she ran to her plate Tori had just set down, ready to inhale her breakfast.

"Thank you so muf Ori!," Cat try to say with a mouth full of eggs. Tori smiled, she would make this for her ever hour of everyday if it always made her this happy. She and Cat finished up her their breakfast with some casual chatter between the two of them.

"So," Tori started. "If I had to guess it's going to be raining all day today. Doesn't look like that will be letting up any time soon." Cat's perky demeanor didn't take a hit like Tori thought it would. "Not a problem," Cat said. "I love the rain. I love all weather, it's kind of like us humans. Sometimes it's sunshiny and in a good mood, and sometimes it's gloomy and raining and sad. It can't be all sunshine and good weather all the time."

There it was again, that side of Cat that made you aware on some level she must be a genius. "I have a good idea," Cat said, "let's go sit on your porch under the awning and maybe enjoy the rain some? Nothing smells better than rain." Tori could see no issue with it. "Alright," Tori agreed. "We should probably put on jackets though, just in case the wind tries to drench us.

They sat down on the bench under the awning of Tori's house. "Sometimes when it rains I swear it's the world crying. It makes me think that it has gotten so tired of all the injustices it just has to cry to feel better." Cat said while sticking her hand out to let some rain fall in it. "Tori," Cat said in a voice that almost worried her. "I know most people at school think I'm all sun shine and rainbows, that nothing bad has ever happened to me and nothing can bring me down for long. But I want, no need, you to know that isn't true." Tori stared at Cat with worry in her eyes.

"I'm just like everyone else, my past has demons and nightmares. Sometimes it feels like all it has is demons and nightmares. I- I need to show you something. Cat removed her jacked and pulled up her shirt sleeve showing Tori what must be at least a dozen scars, a mixture of burns and cuts.

"Cat, what- what are those from? Why do you have them?

"They're from razor blades and lighters, I made them myself." Cat said sounding far away. "But why did you make them?" Tori asked Cat her voice begging for Cat to tell her.

Cat didn't reply for a minute. "There is no easy or simple answer to any of that. But I guess when you get down to it; it's to remind me that my past is real and will always be a part of me."

AN: I'm back! Next chapter will start where this one ended. If you notice any mistakes let me know so I can fix them.


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